Something in the Water?
Friday, May 16th, 2008
I’m generally pretty neutral on Starbucks. Sure, I cringe at the thought of paying $24.75 for a tall soy mocha latte. On the other hand, I don’t think they’re the root of all evil (a distinction that clearly belongs to Wal-Mart). So I’m amused to find out that a group of supposed Christians are calling for boycotts of the chain. Their reason? Nothing to do with fair trade beans, soy milk, or snooty baristas. Apparently the coffee chain’s mermaid logo is showing too much skin for their taste.
The boycott comes from a group calling itself The Resistance Manifesto, which also devotes a fair amount of space to 9/11 “truth” screeds, and rants against celebrities. To quote from the little missive they sent out to publicize their boycott:
(San Diego, CA) Starbucks has recently introduced a new version of their logo which features a topless mermaid with her legs spread, which has caused outrage from a nation wide Christian media watchdog organization. The Resistance, with [sic] has over 3000 members nationwide, is boycotting Starbucks across the country saying their new logo is inappropriate.
“The Starbucks logo has a naked woman on it with her legs spread like a prostitute,” explains Mark Dice, founder of the group. “Need I say more? It’s extremely poor taste, and the company might as well call themselves, Slutbucks.”
Okay, I admit that I’m not up on mythical beasts, much less their mating habits. The best I can remember, though, mermaids don’t have legs. But that’s not the least of it. First off, if you think someone’s going to get their kicks off a badly-drawn cartoon mermaid, you’ve got more issues than Time magazine. Second, what next? The Coppertone logo? Products like Naked Juice, or Bear Naked granola?
And finally, with all the more pressing issues facing the world–poverty, starvation, warfare, race and class strife–the best you can do is a outrage over a fucking mermaid? Somebody’s priorities are seriously ass-backward if they think this merits a second look, much less a boycott.
On the brighter side, maybe if they get worked up enough about the mermaids, they’ll keep their mouths shut about gay marriage for a change. That would be progress.