Category Archives: Re-Make/Re-Model

Uneasy Lies The Head…

Staying in other people’s houses is always a trip. I can’t always sleep well in strange places, so a lot of the time I’m up at the crack of dawn, tiptoe downstairs trying not to wake anybody up, and spend … Continue reading

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Happy (Early) Thanksgiving

For once, I’ll be early with something. Thanksgiving, 1973: The little round-headed kid is having as much luck with Thanksgiving dinner as he did trying to kick the football. He’s supposed to be at Grandma’s house by four. In the … Continue reading

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Rated… huh?

Think of all the things invented to save time. Instant coffee. Jiffy Pop. TV Dinners, and then TV Dinners weren’t fast enough and we invented the microwave oven. Trailers, so you could carry your home around like a turtle. On … Continue reading

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Lost in the Supermarket

Supermarkets try too hard. You can’t walk into a supermarket anymore that doesn’t have a full selection of “Home-Cooked Meals”: hermetically sealed roasted chicken, baked hams in little plastic coffins, and ribs sulking in oversweetened barbecue sauce. One day, I … Continue reading

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Stations of the Cross (Driving with Grandpa)

My grandfather was a bit old-fashioned, and we’d get reminders once in a while, like when he met my friend Phil. “So, Bill. What’s your last name?” “Yurchuk.” “Bill Deerchuck. What kinda name is that?” “Oh, it’s Russian.” “You don’t LOOK Russian.” … Continue reading

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Nigerian Letter, Part 2

Another letter, sent after the one below: Mr. Wetauba,   It is with great and sincere regret that I read this missive on the loss of  your dear client. It is with further regret, however, that I must decline your … Continue reading

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Nigerian Letter, Part 1

I use Hotmail, the filtering on which is generally halfway decent. That’s a good thing, usually, but one side effect is that I don’t get those Nigerian letters anymore. If you’ve ever taken a class, or read a book, on … Continue reading

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