A Slight Delay

You know the little warning stickers on pill bottles about taking the medication only on a full stomach? That goes double for Man Eat Food. Entry after entry will leave you either salivating, or listening to your growling stomach (or both). What I like about the blog is its catholic quality. This is clearly someone who loves to eat–no arguments from these quarters, certainly–and who, though he loves good food, isn’t a snob about it. It’s a nice antidote to some blogs I’ve seen written by self-proclaimed “foodies,” where the simple pleasure of a good meal gets lost amid the stuff calculated to impress the other foodies. Hold onto your napkins…

Okay, break time’s over (mine, anyway). A quick take on another tasty, addictive snack, this one from the good folks at Calbee. Well, I’m assuming they’re good, fine people. There’s nothing to indicate that they’re not. I don’t think that they use whales or baby seals in their snacks, so…

Where was I? Oh, yes. Their “Snapea Crisps.” Texture: think Cheez Doodles. The puffy kind, minus the annoying orange stuff that gets all over your fingers, and could easily substitute for a dye pack in your local bank (”Suspect was apprehended when he was spotted licking his fingers a block away from First National.”). Taste: Think peas. ‘Nuff said. If you like peas (lightly salted) and Cheez Doodles, this should be right up your alley. They also come in a Caesar flavor, which I haven’t tasted.

I’ve found a new obsession (and, unfortunately, can’t find a picture of the package). The brand name, or maybe the name of the product itself, is Nori Hineri Norisuke. For all the Japanese I know, that could well translate to “You’ll eat half the bag before you know it.”

The closest thing I could think to compare this to would be Rice Krispies, if they had grown to mutant size (i.e. something likely to be found in Godzilla’s cereal bowl), were crinkle cut, and were delicately seasoned with nori (seaweed) and wasabi. It’s an interesting taste… savory, with a hint of malt and just the right amount of heat (not so mild as to be an afterthought, but less wasabi than you’d find in wasabi peas). I do not, however, recommend putting them in milk, unless you’re an enormous green fire-breathing lizard with a phobia over high-tension wires, in which case you can go right ahead and do as you please.

Okay, maybe you don’t need a potato ricer, as such. But once you have one, it’s a bit like having a microwave oven; you’re not sure what you did without it. If, when you’re mashing potatoes, you wonder how long it’s going to be before you end up with a repetetive strain injury, a potato ricer will be a welcome addition to your kitchen arsenal. Mine cost all of ten bucks, purchased at Target. You can also get a Potato Ricer on Amazon for the same price. The construction’s simple: picture a garlic press on steroids. And it’s easy to use, too. Boil your taters, stick ‘em in the ricer, and squeeze, and you’ve got perfectly fluffy, non-lumpy, mashed potatoes. They require less labor, and less butter and milk, than they would if you used a masher. Cleanup of the ricer pictured is easy, too, since the part that holds the potatoes removes easily for cleaning. See the next entry for a recipe to road-test your ricer.

So much for catchy nomenclature. At least I can claim truth in advertising. “What’s that?” “Oh, it’s a sweet potato thingy.” You may, if you’d prefer, call it a whatzit, doodad, or just refer to it as “Jasper,” for all I care.

But I digress. Now that you’ve got your potato ricer (see previous entry), here’s something you can make with it. It’s a bit faster variation on a recipe my mother makes every Thanksgiving. You can use an electric beater or a potato masher, but the ricer will give better results. What you’ll need:

Two decent-sized sweet potatoes or yams (I’ve used both)
1 small can of crushed pineapple
A bit (say, a quarter- or half-cup) of shredded coconut
Spices and nuts (optional; see below)

First, you’ll have to deal with the coconut. If you want it sweet, you can just dump it in straight from the package, and skip the remainder of this paragraph (you can also toast it if you’d like, and then skip the rest of this paragraph). If you want it moreso for the texture, and want a flavor that says “coconut” and not “would you like some coconut with your sugar,” find a small bowl, put the coconut in there first, and pour enough milk over it to cover it. Then, cover and refrigerate the bowl, draining it when you’re ready to use it.

Next, peel and dice your sweet potatoes. Go for a medium dice, since they’ll cook quicker and more evenly. Next, boil them ’til they’re done. They shouldn’t be mushy, nor should they be too raw. Drain, and set aside.

While the spuds are cooling, drain the crushed pineapple, reserving the juice, and set that aside. Run the sweet potatoes through the ricer in batches, ’til the lot of them have been mashed. Then stir in the pineapple and coconut. You likely won’t need to add any liquid; if you do, you can use either the reserved pineapple juice, or a bit of orange juice.

What you’ve got now is a pretty suitable side dish. You can add nuts if you’d like; pecans or walnuts work well. Cinnamon gives a nice flavor to the proceedings. Or, if you’d like something that’ll give a nice contrast, add a bit of chopped cilantro to taste.

I’m suspicious of anything I see advertised on television. So I’d been skeptical for a while about the George Foreman Grill, in any of its guises; if television advertising is cause for suspicion, then a celebrity’s name attached to a product is the kiss of death.

On the other hand, when you live in an apartment with no balcony, no patio, and not quite enough room to swing a cat, it’s not like you can set up a gas grill in the living room. So we caved in and bought the G5, the latest incarnation of the George Foreman Grill. (more…)

Nothing beats fresh spices. The taste of a clove of crushed garlic, cilantro snipped right off the stem, or fresh-cut parsley (just try making tabouleh with parsley flakes) puts dried spices to shame. On the other hand, if you’re short on time, it can be a pain in the neck cutting, washing, snipping, et cetera.

Polaner–the same company that makes fruit preserves and whatnot–have done a nice job of bridging the gap between the produce section and those little jars of sad, dessicated horticulture. Most supermarkets will carry at least the garlic and basil (which, between them, put you well on your way to a good pesto), but oregano and jalapeño peppers are also out there. They’re relatively inexpensive, and while they’re not the same as going to your local farmer’s market they’re a good compromise, especially if you want fresh taste but you don’t have as much prep time as you’d like.

Why I will never write a cookbook, Exhibit A:

Ingredients:
1 package flour tortillas
1 package of hot dogs, preferably uncured since you don’t want nitrates interfering with the lips-and-assholes goodness of your weenies.
1 package of shredded cheese. You could use cheddar, or one of the many “Mexican” blends that no self-respecting Mexican has ever been seen buying.
1 can of refried beans
Chili powder or some other, similar, blend of spices

(more…)

Have you ever eaten or drunk something, disliked it intensely, decided to give it a second chance, and then wondered why you bothered? I bring this up because today–for the third time, no less–I had V8 V-Fusion. You’ve seen the commercials. This is the V8 for the people who don’t like V8.

I’m not one of those people. I like V8 just fine. It even makes a good Bloody Mary (with or without the alcohol). But I’m always open to trying new things, and you figure that if someone makes a product you like, it’s a reasonable bet that the next thing they come out with will also be good, right?

Not so much. (more…)

Rule of thumb: Food always tastes better when it’s shaped like something. Okay, maybe it’s just me, but I’ve always had a weak spot for shaped foods over their dull, geometric counterparts. For instance: Fritos used to make chips that were shaped like race cars. They tasted much better than the spiral Fritos, which, in turn, tasted better than the “traditional” ones. Animal crackers, gummy bears, Goldfish… Come to think of it, this needs to be put to a blind taste test.

Of course, there’re exceptions. The chicken nuggets at Burger King, for instance, are supposed to be shaped like crowns, but they look more like paws. Chicken ought not to have paws. This is an abomination against nature. So, for that matter, are Burger King’s Chicken Fries (I don’t want to know what part of the chicken they used to get that shape) or White Castle’s Chicken Rings (ditto–actually, that goes double, in this case).