Those of you who contributed so generously last year to the floating hospital have probably wondered what became of the money. I was speaking on this subject only last week at our up-town branch, and, after the meeting, a dear little old lady, dressed all in lavendar, came up on the platform, and, laying her hand on my arm, said: “Mr. So-and-so (calling me by name) Mr. So-and-so, what the hell did you do with all the money we gave you last year?” Well, I just laughed and pushed her off the platform, but it has occurred to the committee that perhaps some of you, like that little old lady, would be interested in knowing the disposition of the funds. –Robert Benchley, from “The Treasurer’s Report,” 1928.
Every time someone mentions the bailout lately, this quotation’s the first thing that comes to mind. I can’t help it, especially since nobody knows where in the hell the money’s gone, or is going.
Could we try asking our bankers? I’m not talking about the teller at your local CitiBank; what I’d love to do, instead, is to sit the CEO, CFO, and whatever other CO’s we can muster down in front of a town hall meeting. Or better still, a series of town hall meetings, from one end of the country to the other. Let anyone who’d like to do so grill the living hell out of their banker of choice. It’d make for great television, and would probably also be the first time PollStar showed a group of wayward businessmen selling more tickets than Bruce Springsteen.
I bring this up for a simple reason. Since the first disbursement of Federal aid went to the banks, various and sundry media outlets have tried to figure out where the money’s going. It’s been hard going, since nobody who’s received funds seems to want to say what, exactly, they’ve done with all that money. We’ve heard of AIG’s cries of poverty drowned out by the shouts of joy at their company party, plus the usual round of bonus payouts, mergers, and acquisitions. Before long, we’ll need a bailout from the bailout…