The Future of Medicine?
This being an election year, we’re reminded constantly that somewhere in the neighborhood of 45 million Americans have no health insurance. An additional 30 million people (give or take a few mil) are temporarily without health insurance in the course of a given year. Mind you, this doesn’t mean that nobody’s getting sick, it just means we can’t afford to.
And how, exactly, are the uninsured going to pay for anything from hospital visits to critical care? You see ads for hospitals from time to time, about how they’re so advanced, about their great strides in neonatal care, cardiac medicine and oncology… it’s like they’re rattling off the features on a car. “Do you have 99 dollars and a job? You may qualify for health care! Try the new 2009 Pinebrook Hospital. Preferred patients get 4.9% financing with only 150 dollars down.” Before you know it, they’ll be offering lease options on artificial hearts. What the hell, once you kick over, someone else’ll get it.
And like everything else that’s financed, they’ll find ways to repo the stuff if you fall behind on your payments. You’ll wake up one morning to two enormous guys holding you down while a third cuts out your corneas. Your female coworkers will come in with their faces saggy and their breasts two cup sizes smaller: “Liz missed two installments on her implants.”
At least there wouldn’t be the long waits for transplants. Just go to the hospital and some guy with a cheap jacket and a combover will tell you about this week’s livers. “This one’s only had two previous owners. The last guy had a bit of a drinking problem, but it still works like a charm.” They’d even make sure it had that new organ smell.